The Dirty Spoon

For approximately four years myself, my husband, and our three children lived in a house without a dishwasher. Four years. Without. A. Dishwasher. Not to mention our kitchen was tiny.

Then we had a baby.

So, myself, my husband, and our four children were now living in an 800 sq. ft. home with no dishwasher. Needless to say dinner time could be contentious. No one wanted to do the dishes, and if we left them for even one day it seemed there were mountains of sloppy cups, bowls, and silverware piled on our tiny, tiled counter tops.

This continued pretty much until the day we moved out of that house and into a new home, with yes, you guessed it, a beautiful, brand-new dishwasher. Long gone were the days when our two oldest children (then, eight and six) would spend two hours washing and drying all of the dishes (with some parental help mind you). A bright new future was ahead of us, and I don't think anyone was happier than I was. Over the past two years we have been happily using our new dishwasher, sometimes doing two loads a day. Now, as a family of six, it seems staying ahead of doing the dishes is a constant battle. But at least there aren't usually unsightly piles of gloppy plates and cups lying around for too long these days.

Then, one day a few weeks ago, I noticed there was a spoon that wasn't getting clean. So, I did what most people would do, I put it back in the dishwasher for another spin through the wash. Again, the spoon did not come out clean. At that point I considered washing the spoon by hand. But why should I do that when I had a perfectly good dishwasher to do the job for me? In it went again. And, again, it did not come out clean. No matter how many or how few dishes there were in with the spoon, that thing would not get clean. At this point I again considered cleaning the spoon by hand. Yet again, though, I washed it. Determined that a little, smarmy, oatmeal coated spoon was not going to get the best of me. Again, the spoon did not come out clean.

When we are faced with challenges in life, we have a couple of choices. One, face the problem head-on and do what needs to be done to take care of it. Second, we can push our problems away, hoping that, somehow, they will disappear on their own. The spoon, while not a complicated problem to solve, presented to me a frustration that I felt I shouldn't have to deal with. "Let the dishwasher wash it, that's what we bought it for!" Was my mantra. And while not without some merit, my stance had, admittedly, some problems. The first is that, while yes, the dishwasher's job was to, in fact, wash dishes, I could plainly see that this was not happening. How much effort would it have taken to just put some soap on the spoon, take a sponge to it and clean it off? Not much, really. But I am a stubborn person, and though I knew I could just as easily wash the offending spoon, I didn't want to take responsibility for it. Washing it was the dishwasher's job after all. After putting that poor spoon through probably 6-8 more washings, I finally decided to wash the spoon myself. After all that time, I was finally willing to handle my problem myself. And you know what? It took about a minute to get the soap, put it on the spoon, and to clean it with a sponge, back to it's initial, clean appearance. Something I could have done weeks before, but had been too rebellious to admit.

Sometimes, life is more complicated than a dirty spoon. Sometimes, situations arise beyond our control and make us want to tear our hair out and scream at the top of our lungs, "WHY?!" And that's okay. But the longer we put the spoon back in the dishwasher, and expect it to take care of our problems for us, the less time we have to enjoy life and realize we are stronger than we ever thought we were.

Winner! Winner! Chicken Dinner!

We have a winner for our giveaway! And the winner is... AMY H! Thanks to everyone who entered and made this giveaway so much fun!

It's Giveaway Time!! Yay!!

Over the past few months Meaningful Mommy Meditations has grown to a little over 200 "likes" on our Facebook page. As our way of saying Thank You, we are hosting a giveaway, along with a couple of other pages that we really like! Those pages are: Pegapalooza, where they create super cute hand-made, toys out of wooden pegs. Seriously, she is amazing! My son has an Incredible Hulk peg that he absolutely loves! Our second page is eLeMeNO-P, where they create hand-painted letters for kids' rooms, fun educational toys that will keep your child's imagination going for hours! Not to be out done by the first two is, Erin Bay and Origami Owl Living Lockets, Erin Bay, Independent Designer! These lockets are super fun and easy to create. Use them to commemorate a special event in your life, or to create something fun for every day use! The possibilities really are endless! 

So what are you waiting for?! Check out Meaningful Mommy Meditations. Keep the conversation going! Enter here for your chance to win an awesome prize package from M3 and the pages I mentioned above! Click the widget for your chance to enter our contest! Best of luck!


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It is a Beautiful Thing

It is a beautiful thing...children growing up. Hard sometimes to watch them move forward because we remember them as needing us so much. They still need us, just not as much. Which is a good thing, because it means we've been doing our job right. Right?! 

The four munchkins.

I will be the first to admit that I revel in my children growing up. I enjoy watching them learn and do new things all the time. With four children ages 2-10, I am neck-deep in developmental milestones. Potty training, learning how to write their name, drawing pictures of our family, walking to the school bus by themselves. I can't help but love the fact that they can do things on their own. Sometimes my husband has to tell me to not push them quite so much. And lately, I've tried to let that sink in. He misses a lot because he travels for work. While I am here every day watching them grow and learn. Yes, there have been times I've said, "I can't wait until you're grown up and can do everything on your own!"

But, then there are times, now that three of my kids are in school, that I wonder what it will be like, someday, when I'm not knee-deep in those developmental milestones. How will I spend my days? What will I do when they no longer need me as much? So, while I still revel in watching them make toast, do their own laundry, call friends to make plans, and clean up the dishes. I also make sure to do something else; live in the moment of their childhood. 

I enjoy their kisses, and hugs, and bouquets of weeds. I love when my five-year-old comes to me dressed in jeans, mismatched socks, a skirt, and one-sided pony tail. I delight in bath time, and story time, and dinner time. Sure, not everyday is a Disney fairytale. There are fights, back talk, screaming. Tantrums get thrown, toys get thrown, all sorts of not-so-awesome stuff happens, too. 

But on that day when my last child leaves the nest - one of their last developmental milestones - dare I say, what will I remember? What will be the lasting impression I have of their childhood. What will be theirs? 

I hope it's that they had a mother who cared enough to teach them to take care of themselves. But who also taught them not to forget that mother just because they don't need her as much.

Back to school...Back to school...!!

Well, it's that time of year again.  

That's right! School supplies are on sale! 
 (oh, how I love the smell of fresh notebook paper in the morning!)

I stopped by my local Walmart today to search out my children's school supply lists and I finally found them. Since I have three going to school this year I decided I needed to change my plan of attack when it came to buying school supplies.

In past years we've gone as a family, armed with two lists (one for me, one for my husband) and we have conquered shopping for scissors, pencils, and 3-prong folders in a sort of haphazard, though endearing schizophrenic way. Not this year. This year I created a table in Word with the express intent of making school supply shopping easier!

In my table I have these columns: "Supply" "Quantity" "Cost" "Child" "Purchased". The reason for the "Cost" and "Child" columns is to keep track of each item's cost, to do a calculation of the total later on; the "Child" column I created for easy distribution when it comes time to send the supplies to school. I think the "Supply" "Quantity" and "Purchased" are pretty self explanatory. :) It is fully customizable if you have Word and should be straight-forward and simple to use.

I feel like I am actually in front of the curve this year. Which is a nice feeling, since in past years I have felt far, far behind it...with no chance of ever catching up.




I hope you can get some use out of this table as well, and look forward to any comments you may have.

What Does 'Mother' Mean to You?

Mother is a word, I think, that is synonymous with grace, fortitude, grit, and humor. Because, without all of those things, the daily struggles of getting teeth brushed, bellies filled with food, and minds learning, would feel monotonous, unfulfilled, and quite honestly, frustrating.

How many times have you requested your child do something, only to have them ignore you?
How many times have you looked your darling dear in the face and asked them to stop doing something?
How many times have you wondered what else there was to do in life, as you hold your child's hair back whilst they blew chunks into the toilet?

I'm willing to bet you've thought these things. And if you haven't, well, you are a saint. Or, a liar.

While motherhood can feel like an endless, thankless succession of wiping nose, wiping butts, and cleaning tears. Many are the times when it's more about getting kisses, being hugged, and giggling to tears. Years go by, and children grow, being a mother is never done. Sure, they'll fly away, find another nest, build their own family. But children never forget their mother.

So, with grace, and fortitude, grit, and humor; remember that today you've got it all. And that, because of everything, or maybe in spite of it, you are your child's mother. There is no one else like you.

That is what being a mother means to me.

What Have You Done for Me Lately?

Ever feel like you just can't do enough? After washing the dishes, mopping the floor, playing with Legos, dancing to children's music, eating peanut butter and jelly for the fifth day in a row and watching reruns of Wizards of Waverly Place all day, you kind of feel like, "Why doesn't anyone do anything for me?"

I need some of these kids' powers.

Sometimes I feel like that. And then I wonder if it's okay for me to feel like that. And then I get over it.

I used to work full-time. Then I lost my job due to layoffs. It was pretty stressful for awhile, but then I got a new job; one that essentially leaves me at home most of the month and only sends me off for a few days before getting to come home again. I don't work full-time anymore. At least, not in an office. Now I call a four bedroom, three bath, 2500 square foot home my office. I definitely work full-time. But I'm not complaining.

Okay, maybe a little.

Mom...I think I have too many Legos.

You see, I have a husband, and four children. And while they are really awesome people, who love me and make me laugh very often...sometimes...I wonder. I wonder why I care about doing the dishes for the millionth time. I wonder why the bathrooms need to be clean. I wonder why my two-year-old won't keep the heads on all of the Lego dudes, and why I have to constantly search for the ones he has lost. I wonder why I feel like I have so much time when I wake up in the morning, and then wonder where it went when I'm crawling into bed once again.

Yes, sometimes I lament staying home, but usually not for very long. Because, I know what it's like to wake up every morning, and to leave your children with someone who is not you, to essentially raise them for that day. I know what it's like to come home from work and just want to take a nap, but you can't because someone needs help with their homework and those tacos aren't sure going to make themselves for dinner.

I've been on both sides of the lawn, and I am here to tell you that both sides of the lawn can be incredibly rewarding, healthy, and green!

Was working full-time and being a mother stressful? Hell yes! Is staying at home sometimes inconceivably stressful and sometimes stifling? Sure! But you know what? Once I decided to have children, I had to shift priorities. Anyone who tells you you can have it all and do it all well is, pardon my French, ridiculous.

Or, maybe it's just me.

Maybe I couldn't have it all. Maybe I didn't want it all. Maybe "ALL" isn't everything it's so darn cracked up to be. I know what I did do, and that's do the best I could. I worked, I mothered, I cooked, I cleaned, I loved my husband and my children and I continue to do so day after day. And after awhile there are a few fundamental truths I have learned:





1. You are the best mother your children are ever going to have. Be there for them, when they want to play with Legos, or when they want to tell you about the mean boy that teases them at recess. Some day, they may not want to tell you anything.

2. Being everything to everyone all the time is not possible. When I worked full-time, I was into my job and it was sometimes hard to leave work at work. Learn how to separate the two and save yourself and your family some stress.




3. Creating memorable experiences doesn't have to cost a lot of money. Spending time with your children is as easy as sitting down and reading a book together. Simple, every day interactions are what they are going to remember and cherish most. Make those times something worth remembering.


4. Make sure you're teaching your children how to work. Sometimes, and I know I am guilty of this, it's just easier to do things yourself. Saving time is great, but wouldn't you rather know that you equipped your children with the tools necessary to succeed in life, rather than sending them out the door with nothing to offer the world other than their good looks?


5. Being good to yourself is essential. Take a walk. Ride a bike. Go for a swim. Take a class. I'm not getting any younger and while aging is inevitable, growing old is a state of mind.




Whatever your goals in life. Whatever your personal situation, when you have children, somehow, someway, your thinking must change. Life isn't just about you anymore. Those kids depend on you. They look up to you. They look to you for guidance, support, and protection. Be their rock. Be the person they want to tell things to.

Instead of wondering what you could be doing, be engaged in what you are doing. Right here. Right now.